Are You Making Time to Laugh?
by Carla H. Brown

Joy is an incredible feeling! When we let it in, the feeling of joy nourishes our cells, boosts our immune system, feeds our heart and cultivate deeper well-be-ing and inner peace.
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Though, when was the last time you felt authentic Joy? What was an experience outside of you that stimulated a feeling of joy? (Even though many of us may be focusing on the struggling and suffering of war and injustice in the world, just take a moment to imagine a feeling of joy in your system)
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Take a moment, to close your eyes and think of some of the deep joys you have experienced in life. Perhaps the familiar joy of holding a newborn, or the sheer gladness of seeing a friend you haven't seen in ages. Or perhaps, your greatest joy comes from communing with the beauty of nature or feeling the ripples of delight when hugging our loved ones. Maybe joy comes to you when you're engaged in creative endeavors, or connecting with community in group activities.
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However you connect to the experience of joy, it is obvious that it is a feeling that we all desire. In fact, as humans, we are hardwired for connection. And in the past 2 years we have all been navigating what seems like constant choppy waters, with a rocky shore in front of us and storms overhead!
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It’s felt intense! Where would authentic joy and laughter enter into this world we are living in? And, who has had the inclination to laugh when there's so many hard things happening in the world? And yet we could use a good dose of laughter to reset our body and mind!
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In fact, when was the last time you rolled on the floor with a loved one, belly laughter rippling through you, as you giggle, snort, and guffaw?
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When was the last time you let yourself laugh so hard, you cried? For many it's been a long time. And this is why I am so grateful for the practice of Laughter Yoga! As a teacher and a student, I attend group laughter sessions regularly. And even more since the pandemic came along. Through zoom there are many opportunities to laugh multiple times a day.
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Ever since I began my Laughter Yoga practice in 2008, I can't imagine my life without it. It has opened me up to more joy and deep delight than I knew was possible! It has helped me to heal from a traumatic childhood and supported me in learning how to play more and have fun.
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In fact, the practice of laughter is what balanced and grounded me enough to navigate the experience of my mom's stroke and subsequent passing in 2017. I practiced Crying Laughter to regulate and reset my nervous system.
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Yes, it’s true that laughter can open us up to the tears and sadness, bringing forward places inside that may feel painful and heavy.
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Are you afraid to allow yourself to laugh deeply, perhaps due to feelings of sadness and grief just below the surface? How can we navigate the waters of intense grief we’re swimming in now? With so much pain and loss occurring, constant changes and upheaval happening all around us… And a natural desire to feel better.
Though, how to do so without taking drugs, numbing our feelings or hiding our heads in the sand? We learn to face the pain and be with it, tending to it.
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One of my teachers, Francis Weller, says that when grief is not expressed, “it tends to harden the once–vibrant parts of us."
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Where have you hardened yourself off, barely hanging on, living in a place stoic place devoid of joy and laughter?
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Where have you hidden your own sorrows deep within, taking care of the emotions and feelings of those around you, at your expense?
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Francis states, "Too often in modern times our grief becomes private, carrying an invisible mantle of shame forcing our sorrow underground, hidden from the eyes that would offer healing. We must restore the conversation we need to have concerning the place of grief in our lives.”
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We are the tenders of our grief. The level to which we love is the level to which we grieve; deep grief is a sign of our oceanic capacity for love.
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"When our grief cannot be spoken, it falls into the shadow and re-arises in us as symptoms. So many of us are depressed, anxious and lonely. We struggle with addictions and find ourselves moving at a breathless pace, trying to keep up with the machinery of culture." (F.Weller)
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If our only experience of joy and laughter is wrapped around the people and situations in our lives that brought us those positive feelings, then how can we give ourselves permission to feel good again, when those people or situations have left us?
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How can we be present with deep pain and suffering? (No one ever taught me this, and I felt lost and overwhelmed by pain and suffering for years. This is where Laughter Yoga and GriefYoga® saved me.)
One way to be present with pain and suffering, is to allow ourselves to practice witnessing grief, tending to grief, being present, open, and still, in the middle of it. This is one way to tend to our grief. And slowly, we can learn to navigate the waves of pain without letting the suffering engulf us.
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So then, how can we allow the experience of delight and joy back into our lives? Especially when we feel so empty and disconnected from the people and situations that we deeply miss and are grieving?
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This is where the replenishing rains of laughter can enter, to soothe the inner terrain and fill the dried out places with energy, movement, and lightness! Sustained belly laughter brings us into the present moment, creating a direct connection between people, while completely surpassing the mind. It gives us a break from thinking and feeling the waves of despair.
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Weller states, “We shouldn't get stuck in our grief; it's not a permanent address but a companion that walks beside us. Everything I love, I will lose. That's the harsh truth. You either have to shut down your heart – and miss the love that is around you – or wrestle with that truth and come out the other end. There is indeed such a thing as joyful sorrow. The work of the mature person is to carry grief in one hand and gratitude in the other and to be stretched large by them. If I carry only grief, I'll bend towards cynicism and despair. If I have only gratitude, I'll become saccharine and won't develop much compassion for other people suffering. Grief keeps the heart fluid and soft, which helps make compassion possible."(F. Weller)
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In my experience, the fluidity of the grief, paired with laughter, cultivates an even more expanded state of joy, delight, and aliveness!
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It's important that we normalize our current experience, that we normalize this pain and suffering we're going through. Let's learn, together, in community, to bring awareness, connection and expression to these suffering parts…healing us and allowing the energy to move through, to liberate and empower us.
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This human experience is messy. No one is given a guidebook on how to navigate this terrain of being human. Let's practice opening our hearts, connecting with our inner suffering, allowing ourselves to be vulnerable and connect with others. We heal and community as we receive the presence of each other witnessing, supporting, laughing, crying, and renewing of our souls. Let’s reclaim our aliveness together!
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I invite you to go within and take a look around… Perhaps place a hand on your body somewhere that you may feel pain, heaviness or stagnation. Befriend this area of your body. Get curious! Ask what is needed to bring connection, healing and wholeness again.
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There is extreme wisdom in our bodies, that we often override with the desire to think through the perceived problem and find a solution. Go to the body… breathe, feel, love… Allow the experience and the sensations to come up and move through you, as you bear witness. I promise you, the discomfort won't last forever.
There's a collective community inside that needs your attention, connection, love, and support. Your own inner community needs you. When we tend to ourselves and cultivate loving connection within, there's much more to share with the outer world. And when we give in this way, it is from a full place. This is a sustainable way to serve the greater good.
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Allow your face to practice smiling and your diaphragm to practice fuller breathing through laughter! Connect to your inner sparkle and radiance and allow that beauty to shimmer through you in the experience of laughter and delight. When you make friends with the places you have avoided, when you encourage yourself to dance, sing, lighten up and play, you will reclaim your energy and aliveness.
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I invite you to tend and befriend your emotions; bring presence and acceptance to those orphaned parts of yourself and welcome yourself back home to your heart. Engage your body in movement, breath, and sound. Give yourself permission to liberate the heavy places within and allow that energy to flow back to your heart and awaken you to your joy! You are worth it!
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(Excerpts from Francis Weller are taken from his book, The Wild Edge of Sorrow: Rituals of Renewal and the Sacred Work of Grief, 2015)

Carla H. Brown is a dynamic and passionate teacher, speaker, intuitive and coach, empowering you to cultivate more joy, ease, connection and resiliency in the body, through emotional liberation, healing and the practice of joyful embodiment!
You can learn more about her weekly laughter and joy classes and trainings at livingfromjoy.com, or email her at livingfromjoy@gmail.com.